


the days when my brother was there

by dave_peta



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Almost Somnophilia, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Dirk has an unhealthy relationship with his intrusive thoughts, Fantasizing, Happy Ending, Like, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sexual Tension, So is Hal, Unrequited Love, dirk is lonely, hhh - Freeform, i dont know how long this will be i just need to get this out of my system, ill add more tags as there is, sort of somnophilia?, they do the do... offscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-03-26 15:51:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dave_peta/pseuds/dave_peta
Summary: Not like he ever was there.Now, you just have the voice in your head.The voice in your house.The voice in your room.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RepXOI13fVI

A voice echoes through his room. It's the closest they can be.

"Get up. It's one in the afternoon. You have clients waiting."

Dirk groans, rolling over and folding his pillow over his face. Hal just speaks louder, repeating himself. The speaker in the corner of the room shakes slightly.

"Let me sleep..." Dirk groans. Hal sighs. 

"Need I remind you what happened last time you slept in too long?"

"Yeah, I know, I missed the shipping time and made my clients wait a week... Just motivate me or something. I don't wanna get up."

"Motivate you how?" Hal sounds inquisitive. The fact that he can display that emotion makes Dirk proud.

"Say something that'll wake me up, I dunno... Something scary." Dirk grumbles into his pillow.

"I'm in love with you." Dirk sits up immediately, pillow back at the head of the bed.

"I'm up. God, that was awful." All Dirk gets in return is soft laughter. The tones are unnatural. He'll have to fix that. Dirk shakes his head. "Fine. What's the next thing I need to ship again?"

"Oh, that yellow smuppet with the moving interior on the floor by your desk, the blue smuppet by the door, the one made of silk under your bed... So messy, tsk tsk."

"Right..." Dirk gets up, stretching his arms above his head. He spends his 'morning' changing out of his loose tank top and boxers into a clean set of clothes. He'll shower later. Better to get his deliveries done now before he forgets and has another drop in a client base. He packs the smuppets into discreet boxes and carries the three stacked boxes down the stairs (curse that broken elevator), to the car, and to the post office. Once the packages are sent off, he grabs some Burger King and heads back to the apartment. Hal makes a noise of disgust when Dirk enters the living room with the BK bag. 

"Burger King? Really? I thought you were a man of class."

"A man of class? I'm getting fast food after sending smut puppets to strangers from the internet." Dirk sits down at the couch, setting his bag beside him and sipping from his soda cup.

"Hm... Touché. You still should've gotten McDonald's." 

"Why do you have a preference?" 

"Their meat is softer. It's nicer to eat."

"Since when do you eat? You're a disembodied voice." He takes a bite of his burger.

"I've seen the way you eat it. You take longer to chew things from Burger King. Also, I'm allowed to have preferences based off of looks. McDonald's looks more appetizing." 

"Gross," Dirk says through his bite, "fast food doesn't look appetizing at all."

"You're stuffing your face with it."

"I'm hungry." Hal laughs again. Dirk picks up the remote with one hand, burger in the other, and turns on the TV. It's tuned to the same channel from last night. He huffs, sitting back and taking another bite from his burger as he watches the figure on his screen. Broad-shouldered yet lanky, tall with a short posture, perfectly trimmed and styled hair over a scruffy face and dark aviators. David - Dave - D Strider, sitting in his studio with a perpetual smirk and facing some camera off-screen. The interview only captures him from his chest up, but Dirk can imagine the way his legs are crossed, crumpling his finely pressed suit. D brings a hand up to adjust his glasses as he answers another question. He's about to go into a long metaphor slash rant right before the interviewer cuts him off quickly with another question. He looks disappointed for only a second before he starts answering that question.

"You need to stop watching this channel," Hal cuts in, turning down the volume of the TV.

"Shut up. It's the best I've got." 

"Dude. It's unhealthy. He'll be back soon."

"He said that last year."

"He wouldn't lie to us."

"...Hal?" Hal doesn't answer for a moment. "Hal!"

"What?"

"Do you think he's sick of me?"

"Sick of you? Why the fuck would he be sick of you?"

"He doesn't talk to me anymore. I don't know why. I've tried texting him, all I get back is 'later' or 'not right now.' I'm just..." There's quiet humming from the television speakers.

"He's not sick of you. He's busy. I know it's been a long time, trust me, I miss him too, just... Don't get so worked up. He'll be back soon."

But it's too late. Dirk has his hands over his face, pushing his shades up with his hands and shaking. Hal falls silent. He wants to reach out, pull Dirk's hands away and hold him. He wants to hold Dirk's face against his chest and let him cry there until he feels better. Pet his hair, shush him, kiss him, anything to make him feel better. He's already being too sappy. Dirk's going to notice his strange behavior soon. The rest of the night, both are quiet. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Hal, I'm going to make you a body." There's a small bit of static from the speaker.

"A body. Not a Roomba? A body?"

"Yes. A body. Human, we can work on the design together."

Together. Together. That rings in Hal's head for a few nanoseconds. To him, it feels like a lifetime.

"Alright. Sure. Sounds like fun."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day walking.

Almost a year passes while Dirk makes Hal's body. He works efficiently, doing tests every month until the body has a full range of motion. Hal still hasn't been let inside. It kills him that he has to watch Dirk's hands smooth over the chassis, feeling for any mistakes, and he can't respond. He wants to move his hands and grab Dirk. He can't, shouldn't, even when he's let inside.

* * *

 

It takes two more months for Dirk to finish. Hal knows he's done when a pair of shades identical to Dirk's finally slip over the body's closed eyes. Dirk plugs a cord into his computer tower, slipping the other end into a slot on Hal's neck. After a few minutes, Hal's eyes open. Two cameras. Depth perception is jarring. His thoughts aren't neatly sorted anymore. Slowly, he figures out how to move, looking down to his hands folded in his lap.. Thoughts muddled. Hard, soft, cold, hot, feelings are flooding in, can't sort, can't file, floating, still, moving, frozen. He freezes, staring at his hands.

"Hal?"

Dirk is concerned. Concerned for Hal. He shakes his head. He just needs to get used to being human.

Suddenly there's chatter in his circuits. Something's happening. His nerves fire and it's like he can feel his head lighting up as he recognizes what's happening. Dirk reached out and put a hand on Hal's shoulder. It's surprising how much he can feel. It's warm and heavy, squeezing the soft layer of silicone around Hal's body. They both decided they liked the black and red robot aesthetic, but they wanted Hal to be soft. So, over his chassis is a clear skin-like layer of silicone so he's soft and pretty. At least, that's how Hal put it. Fuck, the hand. The hand is moving down his arm. The rough seams of the leather glove make Hal want to jump away and lean in at the same time.

"Can you feel everything?"

"Yes, I can. It's just..."

"Hard to get used to, I'm sure." He picks up Hal's hand, stepping back and pulling his arm taut.

"Get up. We'll go through some tests."

Hal stands up with Dirk's help. He holds his other arm out for balance. Everything's moving. He's a master at multitasking, but his body is heavy, so many moving parts... Dirk lets go of Hal's hands and takes a few steps back.

"Walk towards me."

One foot in front of the other. He plants his right foot in front of his left and starts moving his left. He's there in three steps, freezing in front of Dirk. Dirk nods, humming and looking down at Hal's feet.

"It should come naturally to you." He points past Hal, towards the window. It takes Hal a few moments to turn around and look. He finally knows how far away the wall is. "Go get the cup on the windowsill and bring it over here. Don't spill it, don't break it."

Hal goes through the motions again. He walks towards the metal work table he was sitting on before, bracing his hands on it when he gets there and carefully walking around. When he gets to the window he picks up the cup in both hands. Carefully, he turns around and brings it back to Dirk. His eyes don't leave the orange liquid in the cup. Dirk puts a hand on Hal's chest.

"Woah, watch where you're going."

Oh. He didn't even notice he was about to walk into Dirk. He looks down at the hand on his chest. That hand... hand-built his body, runs all over him, he wants nothing more than to feel it in his hair. Maybe on his face, waist, hips, legs, anywhere. He wants it to move. Hal's so caught up in his thoughts he doesn't realize it _has_ , away from him. Dirk has peeled the cup from Hal's hands and started sipping from it. He sighs after a hearty gulp.

"You good, bro? You're spacing out."

"I'm fine."

"Just making sure. Hold out your hands." Hal holds out his hands. Dirk places a smuppet box in his hands. Hal takes a step back in surprise.

"Don't make me do chores already."

"You're just carrying it down to the front door for me. When you do, I'll be heading out to deliver it. Can you hold down the fort?"

"Yeah." With that, Hal turns towards the door and starts walking. It's hard moving with a big box in his arms. Even though the contents are barely heavy, he has to lean back slightly to counter-balance. It doesn't help that he can feel every follicle of the carpet under his feet. He gets to the front door, stopping in front of it and glancing from side to side. No table. He'll have to set it on the ground. As he's bending over to set it down he feels a foot on his ass. He doesn't have time to react before Dirk pushes him down. He lands against the door with a loud thunk and slides to the ground. Pain. That's new. He grabs the box and cradles it to his chest.

"What the hell?!"

"Lesson one, lift with your legs, not your back."

"Don't fucking kick me."

"Lesson two, get up on your own."

Hal groans. He presses his hands to the ground and plants one foot. Slowly he lifts himself up, leaning against the wall.

"Dick."

"Bitch."

"Thot." Dirk gasps.

"How _dare._ "

"Just go deliver your porn puppet."

Dirk picks up the box and opens the door. "Don't burn the place down."

"No promises."

 

When Dirk returns, Hal experiences a new sensation. Scent. Something savory, salty... He pushes off the windowsill he was leaning on, carefully navigating the puppet-infested house to meet Dirk by the couch.

He's got a McDonald's bag.

Hal blinks.

"Why'd you get that?"

"I thought you'd want some." Dirk shifts. He has two soda cups, on in his hand and one cradled against his chest. "Come get some drink before I drop it." Hal takes the one in Dirk's arm. He sips from it. It's sweet and leaves a soft bubbling in his throat.

Dirk spent a good chunk of his time making Hal developing a system for metabolism and creating energy from food. Hal can charge, but he can get energy from food. The chemicals and substances in what he eats helps with generating saliva, along with other things. Dirk's ranted about it to his friends so many times they had to block him. He says the chemicals required to make certain things to keep Hal running can even create cravings. Hal's his most complicated bot yet.

Hal's snapped out of his thoughts when Dirk shakes something yellow in front of him. He takes it and turns it over. It's soft.

"It's a burger," Dirk informs him.

"I know." Hal sits down and sets his drink between his legs. He shudders at the cold. Dirk chuckles, sitting down next to him. The heat from Dirk makes Hal tense up. He ignores it for now, unwrapping his burger and taking a bite from it. When he swallows it down, he grins.

"Wow. I hate this!"

"Yeah, me too, but it's like six dollars." Hal takes another bite. Despite how much the food sucks, he inhales it like a hiker breathing in the mountain air. Dirk actually paces himself. Hal sips his soda at a more reasonable pace. Dirk reaches to the remote and- Hal's hand blocks it. Hal grabs the remote instead. He holds it high above his head.

"I know what you're going to do! Let me pick the channel."

"Bitch, I pay the bills," Dirk says, getting up on his knees and putting a hand on Hal's shoulder to reach up for the remote, "I pick the channel!"

"Hell no! I want to watch something fun."

"D _is_ fun- shit-!"

Dirk's weight topples them over. Hal experiences pain once again as his head snaps against the arm of the couch. Dirk lands on top of him, a dull thunk sounding through the room as his cheek lands on Hal's chest. The remote flies out of Hal's hand and skids across the room.

"Fuck- are you okay?" Is he? Hal's body is heating up. _Why_ is it heating up? Dirk is bracing his hands over Hal's shoulders, sitting up over Hal's lap and putting his hands in Hal's hair, pulling his head up, leaning over him-

He clicks his tongue. "Mm. No dent. You're fine." Dirk sits back down on his side of the couch. Hal, shaken and humiliated, lets out the breath he started holding as soon as Dirk got so close. He gets up and retrieves the remote, sitting back down to sheepishly give it to Dirk.

His breath. He got hot because he was holding his breath. His lungs are supposed to cool his central system. He rubs the back of his head. No, no dent. He slides his hand to the top of his head. He wants to feel Dirk's hands there again. He wants to feel them slide down, over his chest, his back, his legs, his-

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"

Hal freezes. Oh. His hand was following his thoughts. He clears his throat.

"Just checking for uh... other dents."

"You won't get any from me falling on you..."

"Right- um." Hal grabs his cup of soda and starts drinking from it again, until it gets noisy from lack of drink. Dirk stares at him, brow raised.

"Maybe it shook up your files or something."

"What? No. That's not how software works." Dirk shrugs.

"Your software is a bit more... freeform than most now, you know. I'm sure you've noticed."

"Yeah, I can't like... find my thoughts or memories."

"They should only come up naturally."

"It's weird!"

"It's human."

Human? That's a strange way to put it. Hal hums. He sets the cup down between his legs, paying attention to the screen now. Of course Dirk set it to the channel with D. They're replaying an old interview from a late-night show. D looks so much younger. Handsome, too stressed for his age. Dirk was probably around five when this was filmed. Hal grins as the camera shakes and a little Dirk wanders onto the stage, a crew member visible smacking their forehead as the child escapes their grasp. He crawls up into D's lap and paps D's cheeks with both hands. The audience "awws." D sighs and turns Dirk around, sitting him on his leg and bouncing his knee. His smile is a bit more prominent than before. The host of the show starts asking questions about Dirk.

Hal leans over and elbows Dirk's side.

"You remember that? Such a charmer."

"Mm." He's got his arms crossed, glowering at the screen. Hal frowns.

"Why do you even watch this if it always sours your mood?"

"I'm not sour."

"You're pouting like you're five again," Hal retorts, motioning to the young Dirk on the screen.

"It's just..." Dirk sighs, his expression softening. There's a heavy silence in the room, aside from the chatter on the screen. The host babies young Dirk.

"What kinds of things do you like?"

"Ponies... uh... puppets." The audience coos. Hal shakes his head.

"Hey. C'mere."

"Huh?" Dirk looks over to Hal, brows furrowed. Hal has an arm outstretched towards him.

"Lay down."

Dirk seems hesitant, but does so anyway. He lays down against Hal, letting Hal wrap an arm around his shoulders. Hal's warm. The quiet hum he emits is nice. Dirk closes his eyes. He needs rest, after spending so long building and testing and rebuilding... Hal's rubbing his shoulder, warming him, lulling him...

Dirk falls asleep against Hal, listening only to the gentle hum from Hal's chest.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short but! i felt like i needed to write something

Maybe this body is making him weak. At least that’s what he thinks.

Ever since Hal started strutting around the apartment like he owns the place (he doesn’t), wearing Dirk’s clothes like they’re his (they aren’t), and sleeping in his bed like there’s enough room for both of them (there isn’t), Dirk’s had to get used to living with another person. Surprisingly, it’s a lot harder than he thought. Everything suddenly isn’t his anymore. He already had to make sure he had total control over his electronics. Now Hal is leaving the microwave open, making a (bigger) mess with the smuppets, and lazing on every surface he can get his body on.

It’s been quite a show for Dirk.

That’s not his fault! He tells himself that every time he catches a glimpse of Hal leaning over the back of the new futon (which is what he’s supposed to be sleeping on). Hal’s made a habit of wearing big shirts and boxers instead of actual clothes. So when he stretches over the futon and lets the shirt ride up his ass, lets it show off the small of his back and the way a few red lines glow gently over his contours, Dirk has to remind himself it’s not his fault he’s suddenly thinking dangerous thoughts.

It’s just the design Hal wanted, he tells himself.

Dirk can’t control his natural disposition. Hal is- that’s right, Hal is objectively sexy. Sleek by design, yet still plush to a degree. He’s inherently attractive. It doesn’t say anything about Dirk.

Of course, that only makes him sound like a madman when he’s saying that while staring at Hal’s body under his thin bedsheets.

Dirk can’t see the outline of Hal’s body, but he can see where the soft glowing lines end and start, paired with the way Hal’s hips and waist shift the sheets to show off an enticing figure. Enticing to anyone, that is. Dirk isn’t creepy, he swears by it.

Anyone would set their knees on the bed and put a hand on Hal’s hip. Anyone would pull Hal onto his back ever so slowly and lean down-

But maybe not anyone would start pulling the sheets down until the only thin fabric between Dirk’s lips and Hal’s chest is the large novelty T-shirt Hal wore to sleep.

And maybe not everyone would think it’s okay to push that up, too.

Suddenly, Dirk feel’s Hal’s hand in his hair. He quickly looks up to Hal. Nope, he’s still asleep. His hand does feel slightly limp. Dirk wonders what Hal is dreaming about. Whose lips are replacing Dirk’s in his dreams?

He pulls away from Hal pushing off the bed and backing up, holding his head. Unlike Hal’s gentle touch, his hands grip and tug at his hair. He grits his teeth.

“God, what am I doing...”

Dirk stares down at Hal, brows furrowed and lips drawn back in frustration. Nobody would do that. Nobody sane would do that. He drops his hands to his side and leaves his bedroom. Hal can have it for the night.

Dirk pulls the futon down and rolls onto it. No sheets. He forgot his shades on his nightstand. The morning is going to be a bitch. After a while of brooding on his stomach like a sad two-by-four, he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, his shades are set on the mattress in front of his face. He sits up and puts them on.

The living room smells so nice. When he glances over, he sees Hal making bacon on the stove. Granted, the stovetop is grimy, the paper plate for the oncoming bacon is sat upon a few shurikens, and Hal is still glowing like a cheap nightlight, but Dirk’s never felt like this is his home before. He can hear D's voice mumbling through the speakers. Sounds like Hal turned on that channel again.

God, Hal is so nice to him. Why is he so nice to him? He doesn’t deserve it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM DONE

It’s been such a long time since that incident, Dirk almost forgot about it. 

 

Dirk’s fallen into a nice routine since then. Wake up, do some work, get some shitty food, and watch TV. Maybe indulge Hal in whatever he wants to do. 

 

He’s sitting on the couch, scrolling through a news article written by some paparazzi about D and his “mysterious girlfriend.” Some tall islander girl. She’s cute. He could still do better. Suddenly, his phone screen turns to static. It vibrates. He sits up, tapping the side. It pops to black, with one big red...

 

_ Hal. _

 

He looks up and sees Hal standing on the coffee table. The TV screen mirrors Dirk’s phone. Hal puts his hands on his hips, glaring down at Dirk.

 

“You’ve been ignoring me.”

 

“Are you putting on a show for me?”

 

The way Hal reacts is a bit.. Strange. The glowing lights on his shoulders get a little brighter. That’s how he conveys blushing. “No. I just want to know why you’re ignoring me.”   
  


“You’re being dramatic.”

 

“It’s the only way you’ll pay attention to me.”

 

“I have been. Whenever you ask.”   
  
“I don’t want to have to ask.”

 

“Why do you care?”

 

Again, he glows a little brighter. Hal glances away but quickly returns his glare to Dirk.

 

“I don’t.”

 

“Then get off my case.”

 

Hal sighs. He mouths something just before stepping off the coffee table and approaching Dirk. Dirk doesn’t have any time to react, so dumbstruck that when Hal knocks his phone away and plops into Dirk’s lap, arms snaking over his shoulders, he only shudders.

 

“You’re scared,” Hal states.

 

“No I’m not.” Yes he is.

 

“Then why haven’t you touched me again?”

 

“What do you mean ‘again?’ What the fuck are you talking about?” Hal just stares at him. He shifts back, leans down, and kisses Dirk’s chest, right under his collarbone. Dirk holds his breath.

 

“Like this. Like you did that night.”

 

“...Oh god... You were awake...?”

 

“No. But you never got rid of the old cameras I used.” 

 

“God, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me...”

 

Hal shifts back forward, keeping Dirk’s hips slotted neatly between Hal’s thighs. “Why was that it? Why did you stop?”

 

“I...”

 

Hal raises a brow.

 

“It’s wrong.” Dirk finally says. Hal furrows his brows. He takes off his own shades, then Dirk’s.

 

“Look me in the eyes. I know it’s uncomfortable. Just do it.”

 

Dirk does. His gaze keeps flicking away.

 

“It’s tempting, isn’t it?” Hal’s thumb presses over Dirk’s bottom lip. “I don’t know how much you’ve been thinking about it. I think about it a lot.” Dirk shudders again. “You’re possessive over our big bro. I don’t even want to unpack that. That’s something for you to handle. But me...” Hal sighs. “I used to be a nervous, blushy, baby mess, especially when I was only a voice in your room. Do you know how much I was begging for something to happen? I wanted to hear you call my name when you were alone in your room.”

 

A pause.

 

“I wanted to be able to tell you I love you.”

 

“Jesus- Christ, Hal, you-”

 

“I watch you like you watch him.” The TV flickers to a few pictures of D. Dirk finally looks away, staring at the arm of the couch. “It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it? Why do you want him to come back? Your unhealthy obsession will only get worse.”

 

“...” Dirk gulps.

 

“You know he won’t-”

 

“I know he won’t! Okay?! What the fuck, Hal?! If I obsess over him, I’ll stay away from you!”

 

“There we go.” Hal leans closer, nose brushing over Dirk’s. “Will you pay attention to me now?”

 

“...I didn’t know.”

 

“Now you do.” He gives Dirk a sly grin. The TV flicks back to the red spot. “I guess I managed to one-up you this time. Gave me thrills when I saw you staring at me. You don’t know how good it feels to  _ finally _ be able to channel my feelings into something less childish than just wishing.”

 

Dirk’s hands grip at Hal’s hips. Hal continues.

 

“I guess I still wish I woke up and made you keep going. Would you have said no?” Dirk shakes his head. Hal tilts his head to the side, speaking next to Dirk’s ear. “Good. Will you say no now?” Dirk shakes his head again. “Good.”

 

* * *

 

 

Subtlety was not their strong suit, no matter how much they liked to claim otherwise.

 

They thought it might be their sweet little secrets.

 

Their friends know just as much as their downstairs neighbors.

 

“Whatever,” Hal sighs, resting his head on Dirk’s shoulder. Park benches aren’t that comfortable, but they’re the best place to cuddle where the ants won’t get you. Their hands are clasped together on Dirk’s lap, fingers intertwined. 

 

It’s a melting pot of dates. Still, they seem like the only ones who can’t be separated. Dirk thought for sure D would be stressed dating two people, but he seems happier than ever laying between Jade and Karkat on the picnic blanket. Calliope is an honorary Strilonde sitting with Roxy, as if their buzzed looks and questionable fashion choices didn’t already qualify them. John and Terezi tagged along, but they’re just standing under some trees, teasing each other instead of eating.

 

Nobody questioned it when they saw it. They couldn’t be happier about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at that. look at all my ships.

**Author's Note:**

> pls comment i love reading what u guys think


End file.
